Friday, January 28, 2011

CONFUSION

A new day...

I saw him...

A new face, outshining the crowd...

I met him... it felt different...

Another day has passed...

I went home...

fell asleep...



As i wake up in the morning, i long for you badly... Your sparkly little eyes, your sweet smile that lightens my day, your soft red lips that i longed to kiss, imagining your warmth and tender hugs wrapped around me that erases my worries and slowly... makes me feel safe, contented and happy.

Am i falling inlove again? is he the one? my prince in shining armor? or is it a different thing? infatuation or maybe im just not over with my dark past and it still hurts me. i dont know! im CONFUSED... but what the hell! i have moved on... i guess... hopefully... i cant stand it anymore... i cant stand those sleepless nights, those memories that hunts me and makes me ask myself of whether it may happen again or was it our last and will just be a simple memory? i hate myself for falling so badly! was i not enough? or was i to much to handle? did i ever made you feel at ease or was i so protective? weren't you happy with me or were you too happy that scared you away, thinking that you will just hurt and disappoint me? if that's the case then.... then your SELFISH! Selfish for not telling me how you felt, i may have understood you but rather you were silent and just kept it all to yourself! But you know what? if you're selfish for doing that... i'll admittedly say that i was STUPID! so stupid for not knowing how you felt, for making you think that it was all your fault, for making you feel that you were not enough... but the truth is that... you were more than enough! you are the one i wanted to be with, the one i truly love, the one that i can never replace in my heart, the one i want to spend the rest of my life with...

Through all of this... i cant help but think that...

you are GONE... and NEVER to return...

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