Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Untold Celebrity Stories #7

Pure Innuendoes

They were the best of friends. They were always seen together around the
University of the Philippines (UP) campus in Diliman: one was undoubtedly
a very good-looking guy and the other was unquestionably a plain-looking
guy. Opposites really attract. Hey, but they're both brilliant students.
Well, birds of the same feather also flock together. Indeed, they were
very close to each other. Unusually close.

They were the perfect tandem. Like suman and ripe mango. Or nuts and
bolts. Peg and a hole.

They were both prot�g�es of then UP Student Council chairman Chito Gascon.
Soon, the good-looking guy took the helm as UP Student Council chairman.
But the best friends seem to follow each other's path. The plain-looking
guy also ran for the same position with the all-out support of his
good-looking friend. He won, of course.

The good-looking guy was the crush ng bayan of the iskolars ng bayan.

During lunchtime, students of all persuasions flocked to the College of
Arts and Sciences (CAS) cafeteria to catch a glimpse of the good- looking
guy. Even singer-actress Regine Velasquez later admitted on national
television that she had a big crush on the good-looking guy.

But loveless Regine's daring admission did not earn her even just a movie
date invitation from the good-looking guy; instead, the good- looking guy
merely flashed a demure smile in response to desperate Regine's
thinly-veiled date invitation.

But after finishing college, the best friends went their separate
ways. (Or so it seemed). The plain-looking guy pursued his law
studies and later taught law courses. The good-looking guy delivered the
evening news on TV, hosted a TV quiz show and wrote analytical articles on
pop culture. His good looks, intelligence and impeccable manner endeared
him to televiewers.

Despite their divergent career choices, the good-looking guy and the
plain-looking guy really seemed to follow each other's path. But this
time, their path led to a nice little apartment near the Ateneo de Manila
campus. And they shared that nice little apartment. Just the two of them.

Yes, the plain-looking guy and the good-looking guy lived together.

Those gifted with wild imagination got titillated at the mere thought of
these two young men sharing a lovely apartment. The moralists out there
shook their heads at the mere thought of the goings-on beyond that
innocent-looking apartment door amid rows of middle-class houses in Loyola
Heights in Quezon City.

But the pair would not budge from their nest. Nor would they yield to any
pressure. Not even from the plain-looking guy's bible-reading siblings who
berated him for living with another guy. The plain- looking guy's own
family started to cast doubt about his masculinity.

All telltale signs which have accumulated all those years could no
longer be ignored. People started talking openly about the two guys.

Speculations about the true nature of the pair's friendship became a daily
fodder for gossip mongers. The academic freedom which alma mater UP's
oblation symbolizes seemed to have gone beyond the duo's lust for

In order to prove to his family that he was not what they thought he was,
the plain-looking guy suddenly announced that he was getting married. His
family jumped with joy.

But the plain-looking guy's marriage did not dispel wild speculations
about his sexuality; instead, it only succeeded in erasing any remaining
doubt about his alleged agenda of using his wife to finally succeed in his
failed initial crack at pursuing his lifelong dream.

And it was well worth his efforts. Because this former loser's
desperate act finally triumphed. Thanks to his wife.

However, the plain-looking guy's deep friendship with his good-
looking friend took a backseat as a result of the former's new civil
status. The plain-looking guy did not want to hurt his new wife's
flourishing career nor spoil his newfound success. That's why he
played his role as a good family man to the hilt. However, he had not
forgotten his good-looking best friend at all. As a token of their undying
friendship, the good-looking guy stood as one of the godfathers of the
plain-looking guy's first baby, together with Edu Manzano, Cesar Montano,
Cherie Gil, Ciara Sotto, Angeli Valenciano, Fanny Serrano and a host of
other household names. Of course, the plain-looking guy's wife was
clueless about her husband's past.

But the plain-looking guy's wife had her share of dark past. She is a
single mother who parted ways with her good-looking "first husband" after
she discovered that her good-looking "first husband" was already married
to another woman when she hastily married him after she got pregnant at a
young age. This meant that her marriage to her good-looking "first
husband" was not legally binding after all. Now, the plain-looking guy was
her knight-in-shining-armor who rescued her from the stigma of being an
unmarried mother.

Ironically, while her non-binding marriage with her good-
looking "first husband" was solemnized by several high-ranking
priests at the cavernous Manila Cathedral amid countless clicking
cameras and thousands of shrieking admirers several years ago, her
supposedly legitimate marriage with the plain-looking guy was
officiated not by a Catholic priest but by a pastor in a cramped
living room, with only few relatives and friends as witnesses.

Later, the good-looking guy reportedly got married also without
fanfare. They said that his bride was a creative consultant for ABS- CBN
Interactive. However, some women still believe and hope that he is still
unmarried to this day.

The good-looking guy soon rose to become ABS-CBN News Channel's (ANC)
Director for Current Affairs. He has been circling the globe as host of
ANC's weekly travel show, Executive Class.

Yes, the good-looking guy is David Celdran.

And the plain-looking guy is megastar Sharon Cuneta's husband,
Senator Francis "Kiko" Pangilinan.

1 comment:

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